Friday, February 20, 2009

Of Mint-Coffees...

... and unregretted regrets

I see a world in your eyes.

A world more real,

than the one,

I have to live in.

Your world is made

Of thoughts and things,

unheard of, unimaginable..

Of people and places,

so far and many.

But I still live

in the paracosm I’ve made around me,

where thoughts alone are things..

And they are centered around you.

Another season just went by.

And I still stood and stared,

at how I stand where I stood,

Years ago, when I first knew you.

I’ve known you so many times since,

and waited for a day when I finally do.

Your silence deafens me,

It’s too loud, and I yearn for peace.

For I dream too much to tell,

What’s real and what was fantasy.

Remember the streets

we once walked on?

No.. The ones you walked on

and I followed.

Much may have changed,

But I’m still the same..

Only I wish..

I had been walking

Beside you.

I hate you because

you make me forget myself.

And all that I see,

is that world in your eyes.

The one I’m not a part of.

And perhaps, never will be.

Everything is hanging.

By threads.

Threads and cobwebs.

Tries so hard, not to fall apart

But it does.

Every second, every day..and every year.

Look..another knot came undone.

But I’ll fix it again, and wait for it to hurt.

Your silence always says so much.

Much more than you ever did.

So many things, that you never said,

And even if you did,

The ones I never would have heard.

Your whispers, after all,

Were lost somewhere in the void.

The millions of miles,

That separate us.

But your world still haunts me,

The world I saw in your eyes.

The days when love was not just a word,

And faith was not just a lie.

To today, when beliefs are few..

When I’m running out of reasons to try.

She tells me,

Confucius does his crosswords

With a pen.

I know, but I wish

I was that sure.

It’s hard to believe, when things are such,

That you never know

What lies ahead.

Or tomorrow, or today, or tonight.

Time is a strange thing.

You see, it’s even relative.

Your nights are my days,

And my days, your nights.

But twilight is a strange relief,

For such little separates dawn from dusk.

I hear songs..

Songs that echo all around.

Never thought Richard Marx

Would begin to haunt.

Or that mint-coffee would

Be so bitter.

Just because of you,

Or the you that is not there.

But I still stood,

And I looked,

At the sound of your voice.

Yes, I looked. And I heard,

The touch of your hand,

On mine, and I tasted,

The warmth of your embrace.

Of course, that too was all in a dream,

Reality has never been that kind.

But I'm still the same.

And I stand right where I was

When love wasn’t just a word,

And faith wasn’t just a lie.

You would think that I,

Am saying too much.

You may wonder why

I speak so.

But the whys I cannot answer,

So I never ask.

I have too many questions of my own

To trouble you with yours.

But that’s a lie. You know that too.

For somewhere it’s just about a me,

Who is afraid of your answers.

And I am still the same,

as I used to be.

For you see, today I walked

down those streets again.


And realized,

they wouldn’t take me anywhere.


weevil girl said...

hello! and since i now know your name, im blogrolling you. yay!

My Evil Self said...

I think the enthusiasm just ricocheted off the screen, and went off for a drink. :)