Sunday, May 31, 2009


I continue to live in a world of my own.
Only now, it's better synchronized with the one on the outside.

However, which one is real..remains entirely a matter of speculation.

Friday, May 29, 2009

I Cannot Believe I'm Typing.

I'm having this feeling. Strange unfamiliar feeling that is currently overwhelming me beyond any possible description.
I'm happy. I am so friggin' happy I think my head is about to explode. Oh, even if it explodes, each fragment will be a sunny yellow smiley, drawn on bits of sunny yellow paper. THAT, is how happy I am.

Instead of dreaming about explosions and apocalypse, I've been dreaming of bright green fields and winds whistling through pines on a mountain. Of vast, blue-green expanses of water and white sand. Of all I've ever wanted and could never have. It seems just within reach. As if I could reach out and touch it. I can. It feels like days and weeks and months and years are all drawing to, and converging at this one point in time. And it's not a dream. It is real, and I can't stop pinching myself just to make sure. It's real and everything is so darn perfect, it's almost scary.

Perfection is delicate. So insanely delicate it makes you want to weep for its beauty. It makes you want to stop time. It makes you wish you could. It makes you want to capture a piece of it in a tiny carved wooden box that you would carry with you forever. It makes you believe in hope and possibilities. And most of all, it shows you what it means to never give up, even in the face of unfathomably unfavorable odds. And in the end, what all of that is worth.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Mercy of Wrath.

And with an air of nonchalance she said, "Anger is almost merciful. Love is far too cruel."

Anger consumes you in entirety. It burns you up till it wipes out every trace of any other emotion. Blinding rage is selfish. It is complete. And most importantly, it runs its course only till the time you decide to let go of it.
Love is brutal. Venomous in more ways than one. It takes you apart bit by bit, and chokes you slowly. Ruthlessly. It is destructive. So much more than anger.

Nonchalance is such sweet deceit. Some words always conceal much more than what they reveal.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Question of Belief.

And the one-point justification :

Having lost faith in people,
God doesn't even figure on the list.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Confessions of a Parabolic Anarchist.

Why I did not VOTE.

Do you think that I am ignorant? Do you think that I do not understand the permutations, ramifications, or its importance? Do you think that I consider my vote inconsequential to the bigger picture? Or do you think I'm just plain lazy?

I am none of the above. I am an educated individual with a conscience, and deep concern for her country. I am one who, on turning 18, wielded her voter ID card with pride. I am one who waited years to have a say in the working of things. I am one who believes that every vote counts.

I stand for certain things. I have ideals and objectives that I will not compromise upon.
Here is what I stand for :
  • I will not vote for a party that bases its manifesto entirely on populist agenda.
  • I will not vote for a party that intends to impose reservations on the private sector.
  • I will not vote for a party that has lost the vision to look ahead, in its efforts to drag the past along.
  • I will not vote for a party that draws all of its propaganda on communal lines.
  • I will not vote for a party that promises so much, that if it ever even considered taking itself seriously, it would be crushed under its own weight.
  • I will not vote for a party that actually intends to drag India back to the proverbial dark ages, because it believes that technology leads to unemployment.
  • I will not vote for a party that promises decentralization of power, towards a "free", "socialist" India. What you really mean is a communist farce with little or no rights to the individual.
The above conditions rule out the INC, BJP, BSP, SP, CPI, CPIM, and any others you may care to add. Speaking in terms of the United Progressive Alliance, or the National Democratic Alliance would not change the context.

Yes. I have seen it all happen. I patiently sat through all of those speeches, tirades and charades. I've diligently read every single party manifesto, and pondered over each consequence. I am also aware of Article 49-0 and the concept of negative voting.
I am angry.

I want to see my country prosper. I want poverty, hunger, illiteracy, terrorism, insurgency, casteism, communal friction, discrimination, gender inequality, and corruption to be a thing of the past. I don't want to feel unsafe traveling alone because I am not trained in the martial arts. I want to be able to use public transport without having to prepare myself mentally for whatever it entails. I don't want to spend an hour going through the crime-reporting section of the newspaper everyday, purely because of its sheer length. Most importantly, the next time I step outside of my house, I don't want to fear never coming back.

So, will you still call me ignorant, uneducated, naive, stupid and lazy?
Yes. I am an idealist. I am proud to be one, and will never make an apology for it. And I am angry. So excuse me while I seethe in my anger and take the John Galt approach to things.
Thank you.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

At This Point in Time.

There is something almost spiritual about sitting around, munching grapes, learning that "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" and listening to Aerosmith all at once.

Saturday afternoon + Exams.

I abuse the power of procrastination.

More on Dehumanization..

...of a different sort.

Individualism, as imperative as it is, is gradually fading away. The worst part is, that this is not in the face of oppression. Society is inadvertently drawing itself to homogeneity. People have become less of individuals, and more of mass-produced tin-cans, with very little about themselves to call their own. It's not collectivism. It is the lack of a well defined sense of self. It is the refusal to acknowledge its importance. Popular media does little more than attempt to give the situation a rosy tint. At any rate, it's making things worse. Hollow stereotypes everywhere you look. With no solid ground to stand on.

I ask you, what makes a person? The clothes they wear, the way they look, how they live, the places they go to? Or, the way they think. Their sense of judgment, and the things it it based on. Their beliefs, moral premises, and the justification for their arguments. The school of thought they adhere to, their reasons for doing so. The rationality of all these reasons, arguments and justifications.

"Individual" is a beautiful word.
Be yourself. Not because your favorite brand or band tells you to.