Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Some updates and more of things I don't have to say.

Allow me to exaggerate. The spirited, lively river of what one may have once approximated to the merest equivalent of creativity, has dried to a slow, muddy trickle. Not only am I unable to write, I am also unable to think. Contact with the human specie is so limited these days, that I'm almost glad for bank loan promotional calls. Long winding conversations with myself are no longer even marginally engrossing. The last 3 years have disappointed me, and now I disappoint myself. In my world, that's the lowest low of the rockiest rock-bottom. Occasional periods of acquiring a vegetative state are not uncommon, but this is a whole new level of under-performance. I have a million pressing matters to address, and all I'm doing is shutting myself in a room 24x7 and not thinking. In fact, I'm dedicatedly and assiduously not-doing a whole lot of things. Also, I expect my 6th semester results to be announced anytime between last week and next month. That mere fact has turned me into a bawling, jumpy ball of nerves. I do not exaggerate when I say that my life and sanity depend on it. I want to apologize to all the people whose calls I have not answered, comments, mails and messages I have not replied to, not wished on birthdays and anniversaries, not called back, offered flimsy excuses to avoid meeting, and in general, been very very awful to. I can't. Not at the moment. But one of those people who have been nice enough to surprise me with her calls and concern(and will read this, I'm sure), is the one I owe a major apology to. I will make things right. Please know that I mean to.