Saturday, November 21, 2009

On the Idiocy of Grapewine

Sometime during my much-missed goth phase, some-girl-from-college came up to me and asked me if was a witch. I said yes. She believed me.

True story.

All goes to say, I love to do this to people. Feed their skewed notions of me with steroid-charged dog-food supplements. Makes the devil in my head do a happy little tribal dance. With the pitchfork and all. (He's called Travis, by the way. Very nice to meet you.) The boring halo-ed thing that sits on my left shoulder however, has never been considered important enough to have a name. She whimpers and cowers on occasion, and dissolves into general ignominy and irrelevance. I'm kind of serious about this.

Coming back to the pre-anecdoted incident, I think it's getting to be a hobby. Might have mentioned this before, but stupidity fascinates me. On occasion, I go out of my way to encourage it. Sometimes, I think I might be pushing my luck a wee-bit too far. That might actually explain the very interesting state of my PR.

To quote MJ:
"Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, "I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight," people would say, "Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth."

So, I decided to have my fun with it. I no longer deny rumors. I reaffirm them to the point of caricature. To my surprise, they still eat it all up. Looking back on all the whack-assed things I've said, it amazes me how easily one can manipulate people. Give them what they want to hear, and they'd believe ANYTHING. They'd eat the dog-food right out of your hands.

I'm told one shouldn't give fate blue balls.
Really? Well... You tell me.

Signing out
-alleged worshipper-of-Satan/promiscuous-alcoholic-homosexual/alien-from-Pluto/Batman.


Sugar Magnolia said...


mgeek said...

And suddenly, your profile photo looks a lot scarier...

Sugar Magnolia said...

Oh, and this is a pet-hobby of mine too, by the way. It's fascinating how many different MEs there are out there :)

mgeek said...

ahem... I'm curious too... but not about the batman part of the end-note ;-)

Sugar Magnolia said...


Niti said...

It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right.

Read this somewhere long back. :)

soin said...

you explain heh..i just stay silent..and they think they i have just officially reaffirmed the fact..and i have already put forward my claim for batman..and been confirmed as you cant be another can be halena bonham carter..yes thats what you will be here after..and singing along with norway black metal does help the pr

Anushka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anushka said...

This is like the time my brother convinced someone that he's a member of the MI5, and the boy would have to be assassinated on account of knowing too much information.

That poor idiot started crying. When he discovered he'd been duped, he was so affronted that he swore never to talk to anyone again and started talking to himself.

True story, I swear.

JD said...

Blue-balling fate? Really? :P
Alien from Pluto always reminds me of Marvin the Martian from Bugs Bunny cartoons (Yes yes, I know he's a MARTIAN and all, but let that be, please? :P ). That was one HELL of a character =D

Sherry Wasandi said...

@ Sugar Magnolia: Yes, BatMAN. Since the imagination can only be stretched so far. I was also called Superman once, now that I think of it.

:) The differences lie elsewhere.

@ mgeek: Ha! But I'm sure you can't spot any pointed hats, horns or antennas in the silhouette.

Curious? Ask, and you shall receive an outrageous answer!

Sherry Wasandi said...

@ Niti: Nietzsche, of course.
Definitely not nobler, but Travis tells me that virtue trumps fun. I choose to listen. :)

@ soin: Helena Bonham Carter. Really? You're lucky I'm in a good mood. I'll be making voo-doo dolls in your likeness otherwise. Grrr... I'd much rather be The Joker. Now THAT, was depth of character.

You can be Batman down south. With the accent and all.

Sherry Wasandi said...

@ Anushka: So, you're no longer Death On Two Legs, eh? Or have you acquired a suitable guise to work undercover? :)

I believe the story. Because I am a firm believer in the astounding stupidity of the masses. I once convinced someone that I could see her through a telephone line. She freaked. I think her response had more to do with the state of her attire than anything else.

@ JD: Yes. Really. :) Fate isn't quite the temptress in this equation.

So, Marvin the Martian was actually a Plutonian with an identity crisis. Or dissociative fugue. Sure. I'll let that be! :)
Yes, he was one HELL of a character. And since we're going along with this, was he an Irish martian? I distinctly remember a green kilt.

Srishti said...

Awesome post. I'll try that, I SWEAR.
I dunno, I always feel the need to deny...I'll be trying this next time, pakka.
You're awesome. :D

Anty said...

Batman?? People thought/believed that?

That is actually wonderful. Classmates believe me to be slightly delusional when I refer to my friend as "Gwendoline/Marvin" on occasion. They don't quite want to accept that we could associate ourselves with more sarcastic and humourous literary characters.

How do you pull it off without smiling?

Kirra Serra said...

When approached, try a dry-look and go 'Boo'. Then on, every time she looks, smile. Wide. Works.

Sherry Wasandi said...

@ Sristi: So are you!

@ Anty: Something similar. I put it to the stereotype and made it sound ridiculous.

Haha! Gwendoline... I know a true-blue Gwendoline. And she'll never know what I'm talking about.

And you're right. That's our version of condescension.

I have troouble smiling anyway... outside of :)

Sherry Wasandi said...

@ Kirra Serra: Brilliant! You have a natural talent for this.

On it!

soin said...

there are about 666 accents down south.either way i can imitate bale well enough.. i watch welsh players speak..fuck fuck fuck..see i can imitate

Sherry Wasandi said...

@soin : Go imitate Ledger. Then, I'll be impressed.

soin said...

you want me dead?just coz i called

Krow said...